Posted by: charityliz | January 30, 2012

Single&Thriving: Lesson 2

Lesson 2: Look for and experience adventure as often as possible.

I realize that this sounds cliché. I mean, really– everyone wants life to be an adventure.  But when it comes down to it, how many of us can say that we’re really living an adventure? I’ve become convinced that the search for adventure is woven deep into the fabric of how I have approached life as a single and thriving woman. Not only has it kept life pretty interesting, but it keeps me from slipping into that black hole of thinking there’s nothing exciting, fun, or adventurous in life unless I have a man! What a lie! And sadly, so many women live like they believe that lie and waste years of their life (sometimes starting in their early twenties) delaying all adventure until there’s a man to take them on that adventure. Boy, am I glad that I didn’t choose to delay! What great adventures I’ve had the past 12+ years, despite the fact that none of them have included my PFL (partner-for-life)!

Just like movie preferences, I’m sure everyone has their own preferences when it comes to the ideal adventure. I personally like those big, obvious adventures—like traveling to new cities and countries, trying a new hiking trail, going on a missions trip,  paddle boarding in a new spot, or exploring a new neighborhood in the city. But I also like making an adventure out of the small, daily stuff in life. For instance, I love riding my bike to Trader Joe’s to get my groceries – it makes me feel hip, young, and …you got it—adventurous! Who cares if other people think riding their bike to the grocery store would be totally inconvenient! I also like to take walks at lunch (even in the rain), simply because it’s a lot more adventurous than the treadmill at the gym, not to mention the outdoors does wonders for my soul and stress level. I like to try a new type of coffee, order stuff from the menu that I’d never cook for myself, enjoy a beer and read a book alone at the local beer garden, and head to a new salsa club with some girlfriends even if we don’t really know how to Salsa. I love that God has given us such a vast and diverse world, full of adventures to be had!

However, as much as I like adventure, it doesn’t always come naturally. A few months ago, I realized that I just had to do something about the fact that I wasn’t exactly in love with San Francisco, even after working and living here in the Bay Area for over a year. So, I decided to create some adventure in this city and set a goal to go on at least one Urban Adventure a month. It has worked wonders! Not only do I appreciate SF more, but I really have a great time and it makes me think to myself, Dang, I live in such a cool place and I have such a great life! And usually, I can convince a friend to join me, which makes it double fun.

Oh, and have I mentioned how adventurous a blind date can be?  And I’m not talking about a date that you met online and then now you’re meeting him in person…I’m talking about totally blind date—as in, you’ve never seen him or had any contact with him. How could this be anything else but an adventure??!  I mean, I wouldn’t really go in there with high expectations, but it’s still an adventure!*

Bottom line, finding adventure in life has been key in helping me realize that there’s so much to enjoy and appreciate about life; and it keeps the whole “finding my dream man” adventure in perspective—I’m sure it’s a great adventure—but it’s not the only one!

Nonetheless, adventure is not my biggest aspiration.  It’s just one of the many gifts that God gives to help us see what a gift-giver He is! After all, if life isn’t supposed to be that great, then why did David make a point of proclaiming to God, “Your love is better than life.” (Ps.63:3) David saw a lot of amazing things in his life, and definitely lived through some great adventures…but in the end, he was convinced that God’s love was even better than all that. I want to live a full life, and on top of it, remember that the unconditional love that God has for me (and you) is even better than life itself!

Last thought on adventure—I’m currently listening to the audiobook “Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secrets to a Man’s Soul”, by John Eldredge**. Eldredge says that there are three things at the core of every man – one of them is the need for adventure. I would say that women – or at least young, single, spunky women (like myself)—also have a deep longing for adventure. While Eldredge also suggests that women are waiting for their prince charming and even waiting for the adventure that he could take her on, I would have to say that is only half true. Yeah, I’m waiting for him, and yeah, I hope we can share the adventure of life together. But I’m not waiting for him in order to experience this adventure called life!

Disclaimers:

*Blind dates are best when recommended by friends you trust.  The most important thing is safety.  After that, go for it. Enjoy the adventure of mastering the art of getting to know a complete stranger over a meal, and possibly gleaning insights about yourself that you would have never had otherwise!

**Before you start wondering why I’m reading “Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secrets to a Man’s Soul” …let me just tell ya, I read the book for the first time about six years ago, and although it was helpful, it didn’t land me a husband (not that I ever expected it would, but I just want to be clear about why I’d recommend the book). I’m reading it again now, because I want to see if my own opinions have changed at all, and if my life experience and knowledge of what God says has taught me anything different than what Eldredge claims to be true about men. It’s a good book if you want to understand a (not the one and only) Biblical perspective on men.

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Responses

  1. mmmmm, Thanks for sharing.

    Love john and stasi eldridge

    • aahhahah! Nae-Nae! You totally got me at first! I was thinking, Oh crap…how did John and Stasi find my blog!?? I’m such a sucker! But I’m much more excited about the fact that YOU are reading it. 🙂

  2. Charity, can I be you when I grow up?

    • and can I be YOU?! 🙂

  3. Charity,

    I love the adventurous part of you and all the adventures we’ve been on together and the ones yet to come, especially the BIG ONE on the “other side”.

    Love,
    Dad


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