Posted by: charityliz | May 13, 2012

why?

I’ve thought about my mom a lot lately, but of course, on Mother’s Day, it’s another level of thought and reflection altogether.  Today, I found myself reflecting on all the wonderful traits I see in my mom (which I recently blogged about on her birthday), how lucky I feel to be the recipient of her love, and how rich my life has been because of her influence. But most of all, I found myself questioning (in an awe-inspired way) why God decided to bless me with such a mother.  Why God? Why me?  Knowing that there are plenty of wonderful and well-deserving people out there without moms like mine, I know the reason for God giving me my amazing mom is something I will never truly understand.   Yet, I believe it’s a gift from God.  Therefore, I simply accept the gift humbly, with a grateful heart.

But today, in that same exact moment of overwhelming gratefulness to God, I also found myself aching at the thought of my dear, sweet mom continuing to battle cancer.  And again, I am asking, Why God?  But this time, instead of the why being awe-inspiring, the why is heartbreaking.

As I consider the juxtaposition of two very profound questions which I have no answer to, I’m finding an odd comfort in the fact that I don’t always know the answer, nor would I ever understand the answer to some of the why’s that I ask God.   Many of those why’s are the reaction to undeserved blessing and favor (like, Why did I get such an amazing mom?)…while a few of them are resistance to what seems to be unfair (like, Why does mom still have to suffer with cancer, even though we know you can heal and have been healing her?).  Either way, I don’t really know why.

But according to God himself, it makes sense that I don’t really get it, because He even says about himself, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  (Isaiah 55:8)

And so I choose to believe that my God is wiser than me, and in control of all things.  And therefore, I believe His promise to work everything out for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).  So I continue to expect good things, even when I ask why in the midst of hard things.

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Responses

  1. Charity, I love you :).

  2. This just brought tears to my eyes.

  3. Such a beautiful post, Charity. Your mom is, indeed, a gift. I was reading Habakkuk the other day… he asked “why” a lot. There were so many things he didn’t understand. I ask why a lot, too. I’m glad our God listens to our cries and answers.


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