Posted by: charityliz | June 4, 2014

home

The first home I ever knew was all I knew for the first 18 years of my life. It’s not much to talk about now…just a small, rural desert town named Yucca Valley, CA. But the friends I grew up with were so close they felt like cousins after so many years of shared experience. When it came time to leave for college, I bawled my eyes out as I was leaving and thought nothing could ever feel like home again. Four years later, as I graduated from college, I said goodbye to some of the most impactful friends and mentors I have ever known– again, I remember bawling my eyes out on one of their shoulders. Though I never quite fell in love with L.A., I found myself wondering if I would ever find friends that felt like home for my soul the way that my friends in college did. Two years later, I was saying goodbye to my dear friends who I had only met after college. They saw me through the unstable and tumultuous post-college years…we called ourselves T-Gap, because we were all twenty-somethings in that awkward gap in our lives–smart enough to have a degree, but still pretty confused about what we wanted in life. Those friends made even the weird T-Gap years delightful, and again, it was hard to say goodbye when it was time to leave. Then I arrived in a place that felt like home immediately- the Central Coast – and it was there that I was once again blessed with a rich community of friends, on top of a fun social life, great job and incredible outdoors playground! As I left five years later, I imagined that I would never find a place like it again. And maybe I won’t. But nonetheless, I felt compelled to move on to the Bay Area.

I’m not quite sure when this place truly started feeling like home. All I know is that it was a subtle shift. I mean, I knew that I liked it here and I was going to “make it” just fine within months of moving here. But it was a long time after that before I felt like it was home. Here at latitute 37, I had train rides to work, the bike rides around my little Redwood City downtown, hikes with redwood trees and shady forests, Girls Nights on Mondays, Small Group on Tuesdays, online dating, falling in love, getting married, realizing how much I love coming home to him, working in the big city, getting to work with an incredible team at work, getting used to the commute, driving over the bay on huge bridges and paying for it every time, embracing audio books in the car, finally finding someone who cuts my hair almost as well as my stylist in SLO, becoming an urban “foodie” that thinks one [very good!] piece of toast could actually be worth $4, not to mention a good cup of coffee for that amount…

Somehow, through the ebb and flow of life, I came to appreciate the beauty of this particular place and the unique experiences it affords me. I found my routine. I felt God smiling on all of it. And this place became my home.

But it wasn’t until I was truly faced with the reality of leaving that I realized it was home! It’s been over a month since Jason first got a job offer in Texas, and despite the fact that it was exactly what we were praying for, I think I’ve been in a bit of denial ever since. Why? Because no matter how much I focus on the adventure ahead, it’s just plain ‘ole sad to leave a place and people that have become my home.

Even as I’m writing this post, I’m overwhelmed with gratefulness for how God has given me a wonderful home no matter where I move. And while I will continue to hope for that in the future, for now, I’m just realizing and admitting that leaving home is hard.

Hats off to the people and experiences that make this place so hard to leave!!!


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Responses

  1. So so true. I know the new adventure will be blessed and happy. While I am excited for you, selfishly I am sad too. You were always just a few hours drive away and in the same state and time zone; now you and Jason are facing a new adventure in his home state. I love you girl!! I am so blessed for having you in my life and as my niece. God bless.
    Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

    • Thanks aunt Phil! Love you too!


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