Posted by: charityliz | August 19, 2014

Liz Lonestar

I want to thank all of my faithful followers for your years of reading, comments and encouragement. As hard as it is to close this chapter of life and start a new one, it is indeed time. Since Latitude37 was so specifically oriented toward my life in the Bay Area, I’ve decided to retire it (for now anyways– who knows, maybe someday I’ll return to Latitude37!) For the present time, I’ve started a new blog to document the next chapter of life in the Lonestar State. I hope you’ll visit or follow me there: http://lizlonestar.wordpress.com

If you want to get email updates on that blog, just scroll to the bottom of the home page and click subscribe and enter your email address.

Posted by: charityliz | August 3, 2014

the journey continues

A year ago today, I married the man I love. I loved him then, but I love him even more now. Of course, life always has challenges and we certainly had to support each other through a few this year…but the things I remember most when I think about this year truly are wonderful, and I feel blessed. It turns out that God new Jason would be a good man for me even before I knew all of what would make him such a wonderful husband!

Tomorrow, we not only begin our second year of marriage, but a new chapter in our lives. As we leave the Bay Area, I’m filled with deep gratitude for so many friends that have made this place home for Jason and I. I’m thanking God for providing such a wonderful experience when I moved to the Bay Area all by myself four years ago; and I’m trusting that the same God will be faithful to provide all I need as I move to another new place. And while I’m feeling sad to go, I’m thankful that I won’t be going alone this time.

To my dearest Jason,
I can’t think of a better partner to journey to Texas with than you, and I’m looking forward to continuing to share life together, no matter where God leads us. I love you always!

Posted by: charityliz | July 8, 2014

Hume Lake Vaca

I’ve always wanted to take a family vacation with my brothers and (if any of us had them) our kids.  So of course, I was thrilled when my big brother and his wife asked Jason and I to join them on their family vacation at Hume Lake.  Unfortunately my little brother couldn’t make it, but it was still really fun to have a chance to spend some sibling time, and it was especially wonderful to spend time with my two adorable nieces!

It was also interesting to return to the camp at Hume Lake where I made so many fond memories during my teenage years; I went to the Christian camp there every summer during Jr/Sr High School.  Although we didn’t participate in the camp activities this week, hearing and seeing those energetic-crazy-eyed high schoolers reminded me of my life back then, the sweet way that the Lord was guiding my steps and how very little I knew about the future He had for me.  Fifteen years later, I’ve lived in 4 new places, earned a couple of degrees, enjoyed a career that I had no idea even existed, experienced many deep and wonderful friendships, and got married. Oh — and I can even run around that big lake now– something I would have never dreamed of doing when I was in high school!  Through all of it, I’ve seen how faithful God has been.  I recently ran across this bookmark that I kept with me for many years in one of my old bibles – it was a keepsake to remember a commitment I had made to God during one of my first trips to Hume Lake.  I know, I know — it seems like one of those typical mountain highs that so many Christian kids experience at camp and then when they head down the mountain it usually all goes to pot (pun intended). In some ways, I was no exception — but in other ways, I can see how God used even those early years to begin to instill a foundation of faith in me that has carried me through, though it has not been without some hefty storms, distractions and plain ole failures.  Even at that young, naive age, I knew there was something grounding about a God who was always going to love, provide and protect– and all I could hope for is that I wouldn’t forget that wonderful Gift:

 

Flashback to my own spiritual walk in 1992, "Always stay with God, don't ignore him."

Flashback to my own spiritual walk in 1992, “Always stay with God, don’t ignore him.”

 

Besides those little moments of reflecting on my life, we did lots of hiking around, swimming in the lake and pool, chillin’ out together, and eating malts (my fav treat from the Snack Shack that I frequented in high school).  I got a few good runs around the lake in, and we also got to play with my Stand Up Paddle boards. We were totally disconnected from cell reception and internet as well, so I think this was the most relaxed vacation I’ve had in years!

Slideshow of week:

 

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 More pics on Tim & Debra’s blog

 

Posted by: charityliz | June 4, 2014

home

The first home I ever knew was all I knew for the first 18 years of my life. It’s not much to talk about now…just a small, rural desert town named Yucca Valley, CA. But the friends I grew up with were so close they felt like cousins after so many years of shared experience. When it came time to leave for college, I bawled my eyes out as I was leaving and thought nothing could ever feel like home again. Four years later, as I graduated from college, I said goodbye to some of the most impactful friends and mentors I have ever known– again, I remember bawling my eyes out on one of their shoulders. Though I never quite fell in love with L.A., I found myself wondering if I would ever find friends that felt like home for my soul the way that my friends in college did. Two years later, I was saying goodbye to my dear friends who I had only met after college. They saw me through the unstable and tumultuous post-college years…we called ourselves T-Gap, because we were all twenty-somethings in that awkward gap in our lives–smart enough to have a degree, but still pretty confused about what we wanted in life. Those friends made even the weird T-Gap years delightful, and again, it was hard to say goodbye when it was time to leave. Then I arrived in a place that felt like home immediately- the Central Coast – and it was there that I was once again blessed with a rich community of friends, on top of a fun social life, great job and incredible outdoors playground! As I left five years later, I imagined that I would never find a place like it again. And maybe I won’t. But nonetheless, I felt compelled to move on to the Bay Area.

I’m not quite sure when this place truly started feeling like home. All I know is that it was a subtle shift. I mean, I knew that I liked it here and I was going to “make it” just fine within months of moving here. But it was a long time after that before I felt like it was home. Here at latitute 37, I had train rides to work, the bike rides around my little Redwood City downtown, hikes with redwood trees and shady forests, Girls Nights on Mondays, Small Group on Tuesdays, online dating, falling in love, getting married, realizing how much I love coming home to him, working in the big city, getting to work with an incredible team at work, getting used to the commute, driving over the bay on huge bridges and paying for it every time, embracing audio books in the car, finally finding someone who cuts my hair almost as well as my stylist in SLO, becoming an urban “foodie” that thinks one [very good!] piece of toast could actually be worth $4, not to mention a good cup of coffee for that amount…

Somehow, through the ebb and flow of life, I came to appreciate the beauty of this particular place and the unique experiences it affords me. I found my routine. I felt God smiling on all of it. And this place became my home.

But it wasn’t until I was truly faced with the reality of leaving that I realized it was home! It’s been over a month since Jason first got a job offer in Texas, and despite the fact that it was exactly what we were praying for, I think I’ve been in a bit of denial ever since. Why? Because no matter how much I focus on the adventure ahead, it’s just plain ‘ole sad to leave a place and people that have become my home.

Even as I’m writing this post, I’m overwhelmed with gratefulness for how God has given me a wonderful home no matter where I move. And while I will continue to hope for that in the future, for now, I’m just realizing and admitting that leaving home is hard.

Hats off to the people and experiences that make this place so hard to leave!!!


Posted by: charityliz | March 17, 2014

Life is precious…and so is faith

This weekend I got to spend time visiting my parents and celebrating my mom’s birthday. It has been a wonderful time with her overall, but the weekend has also had some unexpected mixed emotions. This was the first time Jason and I were apart since getting married 7 months ago. Even though we had both already agreed that this would be a great weekend for me to spend time with my mom and for him to stay home and get some work done, we both found ourselves feeling sad to leave each other for the weekend as he dropped me off at the airport. But even in the momentary sadness, I was glad to experience that kind of love for each other. It’s a blessing to feel like I have a true partner and friend to walk with me through life–what a gift from God! And hopefully we’ll be around for each other for many years to come.  

Just a couple hours later, Mom picked me up from the airport and we spent the afternoon together, exploring a new coffee shop and just “toodeling around,” as she likes to put it.  Over lunch, she surprised me and presented me with my baby book, a work in progress for many years, now ready to hand over to me. We got to muse together, as I flipped through the pages, chuckling at the photos and hearing sweet tidbits about me as a little one from someone who was with me at the moment my life started. 

It was a great way to start the weekend; a sweet way to reflect on my mom’s birthday, the significance of her life and the special gift she is to me. I can’t imagine any of those pages in my baby book, or the many pages of my life that have come after, without my precious mom there to nurture and love me. I can see how God picked her specifically as the mother who would best love me. And this weekend, I find myself deeply aware of the blessing of spending this time with her and celebrating another year of life with her. I praise God for that gift and especially for the answered prayers that so many of us have prayed for her to have healing and life. I can hardly believe that it was over two years ago when we first found out she had been diagnosed with metastatic cancer. It’s been a journey since then, not without a fair share of challenges, but full of hope and God’s mark on my Mom’s life. And today, I’m grateful.

At the same time this weekend, we mourned the loss of a precious 4-year old boy who died from a drowning accident. We didn’t know him personally; he was the child of a couple with whom my brother and sister-in-law are close friends. After the accident happened last week, he was hospitalized with the hope that he would recover. My sister-in-law asked us to pray and kept us updated all week. In his mother’s brave words, she asked friends to “Please pray. And if you have no words. Cry. And if you have no tears. Sing. Or just Be Still and Know that He is God. and He is Good.” Unfortunately he didn’t recover, and he is now gone to be with his Father in Heaven. Even in their mourning, his mom and dad say they have this deep unexplainable peace, and they believe it is from that very same God who gave them their son, and then welcomed him into eternal life in heaven; that same God who they believe to be good. 

I don’t know why God didn’t answer prayers to heal that little boy, especially when it seemed that he still had so much life left to live. I’m not sure why God has granted me the years I have, or why He is miraculously sustaining my mother’s life. I can’t even imagine the sorrow that boy’s parents must be feeling and the ache in their hearts that may remain for years to come. But I am struck by their faith, a faith that is willing to recognize that God is in control, a faith that believes that He is good even when He allows such loss, a faith that holds so tightly to a loving Heavenly Father, that they feel the peace that cannot be explained any other way (even their doctor commented on how rare it is to see a family living with such peace).  I hope I can hold that tightly to faith as the heartaches of life are sure to come at some point. While I think on how easy and enjoyable it has been to thank God for the gifts He’s blessed me with this weekend, I’m also pausing to hope that my faith will hold tight.

  

—–

Note: If you want to be inspired and touched, read that couple’s blog about their experience with their son this past week. It is raw and real, and it might even bring you to tears (like it did for me).  It’s also short and worth the read.

Posted by: charityliz | February 27, 2014

parking injustice

It was just a few days ago that my colleague and I were stopped dead in our tracks to watch a young woman, as she carefully squeezed her old, white, banged-up Toyota Corolla into a “parking space” so small that we both wondered if she’d be able to get out of her car after parking. Parking spaces are “interesting”, to say the least, in the industrial neighborhood surrounding our San Francisco-based campus. Naturally, parallel parking is an art, with uneven curbs, very pale red zones, and no guiding lines to give ample space between your bumper and the next. But it gets even more interesting where there are no lines to mark spaces in perpendicular parking areas.
And that’s where we found ourselves unabashedly staring this woman down as she dared to maneuver her car tightly between two other vehicles perpendicularly parked — the whole time, commenting to each other on how incredibly inconsiderate she was. After all, the two drivers of the cars surrounding hers would need to crawl through their trunks to get to the driver’s seat. Of course, this driver somehow managed to squeeze out of her driver’s side door– it seemed almost like an optical illusion, like how mice can squeeze their entire bodies through holes the width of their skull. Then she locked her door, and as if she had done it a million times, she strategically flipped both her side mirrors in, fully aware that the cars on either side of hers would have torn the mirrors off their car and her own if they were to reverse more than four inches to get out of their space.  She promptly walked away, carefully ignoring the judgemental stares from me and my colleague.  And that was that.  We were appalled, and she got away with it. End of story.
Until today, when I was absolutely shocked to realize that my car was practically being kissed by the fender of that same ugly, old, white Toyota Corolla!
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I had become the victim of this serial-inconsiderate-parking-lady!!  As you can see, I’ve had a hard time coming up with an appropriately applicable name for this injustice, and while I wished justice could be served, I found myself thinking of all the other horrible ways that this person could be “taught a lesson”….perhaps one of the following techniques would work…
1. Let the air out of the tires of the vehicle.
2. Super glue all the doors and trunk shut.
3. Better yet, put super glue in all the lock/key holes.
4. Wait until she returns to the vehicle and tell her, calmly and sternly, how inconsiderate her parking habits are (because maybe she has no idea!)
5. Convince the towing company (which is literally located 20 yards away) to tow that dumb white Corolla
6. Apply Vaseline to the door handles.
7. Siphon gas from the gas tank.
Confession: I’m not proud that my first reaction was to fantasize about all the above things that are so not nice (except maybe #4). And of course, the responsible-citizen side of me knew that I could never actually do any of that!
Truth: I also knew I had to forgive and move on, because unforgiveness will only hurt me. This person was obviously oblivious and would be unaffected by any level of resentment I held against her. Meanwhile, I’d be weighed down by my negative, ineffective feelings toward another human being. It’s a trap!
Resolve: Climb through my passenger side door, start my car, and drive away. And pray for justice. 😉
Such is life in the big city, I guess…
Posted by: charityliz | January 22, 2014

Wiving & Thriving: Lean In

I may be a little slow on the uptake with this bestseller, but I recently read (i.e listened to the audiobook version of) Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. It was a great read– a refreshing look at how women can think about thriving as mothers and thriving in their careers; and how women can and should have an impact as leaders in the workplace.  I liked it so much that I drank the kool-aid–I watched Sheryl’s TedTalks, I blabbed to all my baby-crazy friends about it, I thought about starting my own Lean-In support group, and I even managed to stalk the author and see her speak for free at a local convention in SF.  And then I realized that everything she had to say during her speech, was basically what she already said in her first Ted Talk — which is pretty much the quickie version of the book.  Nonetheless, I still think it’s valuable stuff.

If I could highlight one chapter worth reading on its own, I’d say read “Chapter 8- Making your Partner a True Partner.”  She gives some great practical advice on how couples can create a true partnership around raising kids and pursuing satisfying careers.  Needless to say, this is the one chapter I asked Jason to read.  And he actually appreciated most of the concepts.  He especially enjoyed the part where Sheryl makes it clear that if women don’t want to be stuck doing everything, they have to let go of things being done their way, and therefore they have to let their partner do some of the stuff his way.  Jason loves this part and has especially taken this seriously when it comes to one of the household chores that he’s volunteered to be in charge of– the very important task of dusting.

In the big scheme of things, I still haven’t totally answered the question of what kind of mom and career woman I want to be.  I continually vacillate between the ideal of being a mom like my mom  and a career woman with aspirations like Sheryl Sandberg’s.  My mom chose to stay home and invest in her kids full-time; and as I consider that investment, I think dang, that is hard and thankless work! and my admiration and respect for her sacrifice grows the older I get. Thanks, Mom!  And on the other hand, I wonder if my path and calling is different; as I’ve established myself further in my career, I wonder if I have a calling to be a leader in my field and to let the satisfaction I get at work fuel the energy I put into mothering when I’m not at work.   It really is an interesting dilemma to think about.  I guess, ideally, I’d like a hybrid of some sort.  One of those amazing flexible jobs, where I can work part-time doing what I love and have plenty of time to invest in the kids.

One thing I’m grateful for– and my reason for including this as a Wiving&Thriving post– is that Jason has been a partner who is open to both options and almost anything in between.  Ultimately, we know we may have to make choices based on some circumstances  (i.e. where we’re living, the cost of living, and who’s actually able to get a job that brings home the bacon), but it feels good to determine together what our preferences would be.  He’s even open to being a Stay-at-Home Dad, which I love him for and I know he’d be great at– but I also know he has incredible gifts in teaching and scholarship and I personally hope he lands a job that allows him to thrive in those things (of course, with plenty of time to still enjoy the family after hours).

Sigh…who knows what will happen in the long run.  There aren’t even any babies in the picture yet (I promise!)… but it’s interesting to try to wrap our heads around our “ideal” before anything  becomes a reality; and I’m grateful for the viewpoint that Lean In has added to our perspective.

Posted by: charityliz | January 18, 2014

blips

I can’t believe how quickly the last few months have been flying by!  Each month, I look back at all the little random events and epiphanies, and think to myself, “I really need to blog about that.”  And then the thought escapes me as quickly as it had come — like a blip.  And time runs away from me and I realize that there’s no way that I have the hours or minutes to sit down and write a coherent, nicely contextualized blog about any of the given topics. And what’s worse, none of them are relevant or comprehensive enough to write a substantial blog about anyways.  They’re just little blips that get cached away into my overflowing mental blog file.  And today I realized that it’s time to clean up the file! I must unload.  So please forgive the wave of blips that are about to pour out of my stream-of-consciousness. This is pure desperation; the blips must be blipped – I mean, blogged.

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We had a great Thanksgiving with my family in the OC. Jason wanted to make sure we all knew what a real southern Pecan Pie should taste like.  He used his momma’s recipe and it was a big hit.

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Maybe it’s the cold weather, or maybe it’s just that I’d rather not be working right now, but I’ve been reminiscing about my honeymoon lately and realizing I never even posted pictures.  Ahhh, to go back to this place…

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Even though I miss Hawaii, there are still some great things about the Bay Area.  We took full advantage of the holidays in the big city and did the urban thing — spent a day at Union Square, admiring the tree and all the decorations at Macy’s.  We even kicked off one of our first family traditions– picking out an ornament to remember this year.

Union Square

Union Square

first family ornament

first family ornament

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Have you ever heard that song Let Me Love You by Ne Yo?  This has been one of my favorite songs to jog to lately, and it’s also one of those songs that reminds me of the way God loves us.  Yes– sometimes I do that weird thing where I take a secular song and make it relevant to my soul.  But it’s good!  And it also reminds me of my friend Tanya, who is the queen of running to good jams and letting them encourage her soul!  This one’s for you, T!

Link to the song–not the original music video because it’s a bit raunchy (I know, I know– ironic!). Link to lyrics

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One of my favorite new recipe discoveries is a french rustic dessert/breakfast pastry.  Unlike most french recipes, it’s surprisingly easy to make.  It only requires a few basic ingredients, it works great in a cast-iron skillet, it’s perfect for dessert or brunch, and it’s delicious.  Behold, the clafoutis…

I like this recipe best, and it works great with frozen blueberries!

pear clafoutti; served for dessert

pear clafoutti; served for dessert

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This past Christmas was my first Christmas ever without my family. I was in Texas with Jason’s family and it was wonderful. Of course, I missed seeing my parents and sibs and our little traditions, but it was a joy to be part of the new “other half” of the family. And, what’s not to like about being in Texas?? I brought my cowgirl boots and wore them proudly.  I discovered chips and queso on a whole new level.  Oh, and Texas BBQ! We toured Austin, which reminded me more of San Francisco than Texas — but it was still cool! We even went to a honky-tonk, and sat around listening to a true country band and drinking beer. As I’ve always expected, I’m a natural at picking up the sweet Texan accent — I may not speak French, but at least I can speak his native tongue! 😉  Lastly, I saw the world’s biggest truck stop, Buc-ee’s, and was totally impressed by their selection of road trip goodies in the not-so-mini-mart, not to mention their meticulously clean toilets.  Oh, and did I mention there’s over 100 gas pumps??

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Christmas Eve with the Lewallens

Christmas Eve with the Lewallens

Austin

Austin

a real, genuine honky-tonk

a real, genuine honky-tonk

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We roasted our first chicken in our new dutch oven!  It turned out pretty good, and it looked nice too, but I forgot to take a picture.  Then a few days later, we gave it another whirl and roasted in a cast iron skillet.  It turned out a bit charred on account of our oven being a uber small.  [Side note: A few friends told me I should start writing a blog on the stuff we cook in our oven, because it really is tiny– as in the size of a microwave.  It actually is a microwave and a convection all rolled into one]. Anyways, that second bird still tasted delicious, but it looked like it was tortured in that oven and it made us both laugh…

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Whew!  That’s all for now folks!  I hope to blog more in the new year– as in, it’s one of my New Year’s Resolutions.  Hopefully it won’t be so blippy in the future.

Posted by: charityliz | November 3, 2013

Wiving & Thriving: 1st of the Month

As newly weds, eager to act like “responsible adults,” we decided to put ourselves on a real budget.  Now, I think we both would say that we were well versed in budgeting before marriage, as we each had our own budgeting “system” when we were single; and thus we figured a budget together should be easy enough to institute.  Before we got married, neither of us were spending frivolously or throwing money out the window, and yet we each had our own budgeting style which can be summarized with the following principals:

Charity’s Budgeting Principals:

  • Save time by doing everything online.
  • Automate as much as possible.
  • Pay all bills and balances at the start of every month
  • Automatically set aside savings at the start of every month.
  • After all of the above happens, spend “reasonably” on whatever expenses come up — you know, dinner out with the girls, groceries, weekend entertainment, and whatever opportunities availed themselves
  • Pay for as much as possible with a credit card so as to earn lots of free cash and flight points.

Jason’s Budgeting Principals:

  • Cash-only system.
  • Spend the money you have.
  • Don’t spend money you don’t have.
  • Have a savings goal for the year and set aside money to meet the goal. (This one gets bonus points in my mind, because avoiding debt in grad school is hard enough, let alone finding a way to save money).

Now, insert marriage and a detailed budgeting plan that the aforementioned two people have to agree on, and it’s a whole new ball game!  It took us the entire month of September just to wrap our heads around it — two detailed spreadsheets, one word doc, one mint.com account and many conversations later, we finally had ourselves a budget plan!  So October was the first real month on the “new budget plan”. We decreased our dining-out budget allowance and tried to beef-up the grocery budget allowance so we’d be motivated to cook and eat at home.  That worked pretty well, especially that night when Jason made us steak that was seriously better than any steak house!

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And then of course, we have fun making our favorite cocktail concoctions and yummy sautéed vegetable recipes, among other treats that can be easily produced in the home.

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For the most part, cooking at home is truly fun and enjoyable for us.  But by the time the third week of the month rolled around, we were weary of cooking and at the same time, the money coffers were running low.  And yet, we trudged ahead, denying ourselves any dine-out privileges (because that account was all sucked up for the month), and trying to keep the costs low even with groceries (which resulted in some semi-gross meal concoctions on my part).

[too embarrassed to insert pic of that meal]

By the last few days we were looking at the tallies in each budget category with eagle eyes (thank you mint.com) just to make sure we didn’t go a penny over, and we mostly succeeded–blaming our slight overages on the fact that is was a longer month than usual (I mean, 31 days is like an eternity!)

And then the storm let-up and (as we Christians like to say) joy came in the morning.  Hallelujah!  The morning of November 1st was like a brand new day of freedom!  We both woke up with the same idea, and before Jason even got out of bed he said, “Do you want to go out to dinner in the city tonight?”  And before he could even finish his idea, my emphatic response was “Yes!”.   After all, it was the 1st of the month, and the world was our oyster!

I looked forward to it all day long.

And that night, I had one of the most enjoyable date-nights with my man in a long time!  We didn’t want to take any risks, so we picked a restaurant off the big-gourmand list –sure to be gourmet quality for affordable prices. Something that makes you feel like this without breaking your budget…

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And Troya did not disappoint.  It delivered authentic Turkish food and we got to enjoy stuff we’ve never tried, like, Beyti and Moussakka.

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They even served this delicious bread with a dipper plate that included olive oil, crushed pistachios and chili powder.  All of it was new, and all of it was wonderful! My ideal restaurant experience!

And we even got to enjoy a stroll through the city and a visit at an old cozy used bookstore (both very budget friendly activities).  This is Jason burying his face in the stacks…

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LESSON: Budgeting isn’t the most enjoyable thing on the planet, but it does help me see how  little money it actually takes to enjoy the basics of life.  And it helps me truly appreciate those extra treats, like dining out, as true privileges.

Posted by: charityliz | October 17, 2013

Wiving & Thriving: Episode 1

Scene: Our bathroom, three days after we moved-in together.  You know, that phase when the actual honeymoon is over and you’re setting up house together, and you’re still experiencing wedded bliss, but with a few unexpected surprises….

Jason (in a calm, cool and respectful manner):  So I’ve noticed that you’re one of those people that squeezes their toothpaste in the middle.  And, you see, I like to squeeze my tube from the bottom and fold it up.  It’s just neater that way.  So I’ve been thinking that we should probably just each have our own tubes of toothpaste.

 

Charity (having never really stopped and considered that there’s a method to squeezing the one’s tube): are you kidding me?

 

Jason: Uhhhh…..no?

 

Charity (shocked, offended and annoyed):  You have GOT to be kidding me!!!  Do you mean you can’t share a toothpaste tube with me, just because I don’t squeeze it where you like?! How is that good for a marriage?!! (quickly spiraling)  I mean,  if we can’t share toothpaste, what does this say about all kinds of other things that we need to share??  Like how are we going to sleep in the same bed and live in the same house?!!

 

Jason (visibly shocked, confused and truly trying to stay calm):  It doesn’t have to mean all those things.  It’s just toothpaste.  I mean, there are a lot of things we have to share and do together, but toothpaste is not one of them and I just assume have my own tube so we can each do it our own way.  We will use up the toothpaste either way. And you used my toothpaste all through the honeymoon and I really just want my own now. 

Charity: I forgot my own toothpaste on the honeymoon so I had to borrow yours.

 

Jason: Yeah, I guess that was fine.  But for regular living, I just think it’s easier if we each have our own now.

 

Charity (after lots of other pointless spiraling and still very annoyed):  Well if sharing toothpaste with me really is absolutely not an option for you, then I guess we’ll just have to have our own tubes.   But I’m not happy about this.

 

Jason: OK.  (still wondering what the big deal is)

 

Issue resolved.  From that time forward, they each had a tube of toothpaste in the top drawer next to the bathroom sink.  And neither had to wonder who’s was who’s.

The irony:

About a week later, Jason discovers an interesting little fact when he finds a tube of toothpaste in the shower…that is, in her days of singleness & independence, Charity always preferred to have not just one tube of toothpaste, but three of her own–one in the shower, one for the bathroom sink and one in the travel kit.  Yes, it’s true.  Three.

 

 

Lesson:  She had so far forgotten the irony of her own habits that she failed to see that his preferences were actually quite like her own… only just a tad different. 😉

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